the light of pure essence

We are born into this world as pure essence.

If we could see the wholeness of our being, we would see that we are spheres of light.

We know who we are because we are nothing but who we are and who we are is love.

But immediately upon our birth, perhaps even before, other energies begin to inform us. Our family members, friends, community members - culture at large - tell us stories about who we are and why we are here and what we should be and shouldn’t be.

I’m not saying this information is good or bad or true or false.

No value judgement, just energy.

We are altered by the energy signatures of those who surround us, and acted upon by other earthly factors - brain chemistry, physical realities, stories.

Over time, we forget who and what we really are. We lose touch with our essence.

Everyone experiences the disconnect, even those who aren’t aware of it.

Many of us consciously seek to return to that authentic knowing.

We seek information, understanding.

And sometimes the very pathways we take in an attempt to locate ourselves take us further away.

But every now and then, we experience moment of union with our true selves. Through meditation or art marking or music or natural beauty or as a part of an unexplained spontaneous metaphysical happening, we remember.

All of the conditioning falls away and we are the pure light essence of who we really are.

When we forget again, we feel the ache, the emptiness, the longing.

Sometimes my conditioning sits on me with a heaviness.

Sometimes it wakes me up in the middle of the night.

I remind myself, my ideology is love and compassion.

The choice to act in the highest good of myself and others is always the right choice.

When I act in love, I am living my mission. As love, I am perfectly myself.

But it’s easy to forget.

It’s easy to feel trapped beneath that which is not me.

There are times when I wake up in the middle of the night and feel something akin to grief about my life because I have lived so much of it in separation.

But it is the middle of the night and that is when the hidden is illuminated, so I close my eyes and see myself as a sphere of spinning warm white golden light.

The illusion falls away and I simply am.

Eternal.

Love.

Loved.