this is a love story

There is a book I need to write.

Need? Surely the world doesn’t need another book.

Maybe not, but I need to write it. I have felt it pressing up underneath my ribcage for years and it’s stopping me. It’s stopping me from going forward with anything else - novels, poems, even blog posts.

These words that want to be written want to be written first, and they’re tired of waiting.

The book I need to write is about the path I’m on.

Even as I type those words, I think, Really? You can’t think of a better phrase?

But I’ve always seen it as a path. When I am in need of counsel, when I’m searching for light, I close my eyes in meditation and see my bare feet on a path of soft dirt that winds through the woods. I watch my feet walk forward.

I’ve been on this path for a long time. This path of searching the night sky for answers, diving into my heart to explore the hidden. The path of theology and metaphysics and wonder. This is a path that I walk with you.

But this path is not about the new age.

It’s not about religion, ascension, woo-woo, global shifts, life on other planets, waking from sleep, waking the world, sacred geometry, saving the world, saving the planet, psychic readings, affirmations - although I find myself dancing around in all of that.

What I’m doing here, isn’t about labels, categories, control, divisions or new worlds.

It’s not about bringing the fringes to the mainstream or even education.

And it’s certainly not about persuading anyone else to live the way I live or believe the way I believe as they way I live and what I believe is an ever-changing landscape.

This path is a love story.

This journey is about falling in love – falling and kissing the ground, heart broken open – with God.

God in all of their guises.

God without containers.

God who speaks in the mysterious.

That’s the story I have to tell.

The gift I have to offer.

This open secret - that we are of love.

We are of a love so great, so powerful, so all-encompassing that even to allow the very tip of it into our consciousness pushes against the walls of our hearts with the force of a tidal wave.

We are born of this love. A love without judgement. A love that does not flinch nor waver. A love that asks us to leap into the darkness, trusting the invisible net.

This is a path of sacred wild devotion.

And it is not always an easy or logical one.

This love says, when you launch into this imperfect world with your beautiful desires and your layered dreams and your holy, imperfect, passionate, messy self, there are truths that you will never fully know or understand. There will always be mystery. Dive in to this mystery. Honor it.

This love says, you will experience incredible pain, but you need never suffer alone.

This love calls you Beloved Child and though it beckons you into your darkest, most wounded places, what you find there, when you offer up your heart, is the powerful unfolding of love itself – angels of healing and protection who shine with a light that is impossible to describe, Guides who gaze deep into your eyes reflecting your own terrifying beauty back to you.

You find, in your asking and allowing, in the offering up of your pain and confusion and joy, the Christ, the ancient Goddess, the wise and nurturing earth gathered around you, caressing you with hands of light, wiping the tears from your skin and the pain from your heart.

Make no mistake, this is a path of surrender.

This is a path of trust.

This is a path of personal sacrament, of prayer and offering and deep meditation, of journeying into the blissful, yes, but also the craggy unknown.

It asks you to be courageous, to draw yourself into fierce alignment, to see that there is, in truth, no separation.

It asks you to see that you are the love from which you come.

And it’s not a show.

It’s not big or loud or immediate.

This is a journey of transformation that happens slowly, quietly, intimately.

It happens in the most secret room in the center chamber of your heart where you light one sacred flame, sometimes with nothing more than a tiny scrap of hope.

And wait.

The guidance that comes when you pray at this altar, this altar in your heart, comes quietly, as the wind shifting through the trees, a gentle hum in your throat, the call of bird outside your window.

And yes, it is magical.

And yes, it is about waking.

It is metaphysical and it is mystical and when you open to it, there will be moments (even though they may be brief and fleeting) that absolutely dazzle you to your core.

But it isn’t new.

This is a path as old as time.

This path I walk is the path of coming to know God, formless.

It’s a journey that’s never complete.

It’s a journey that answers questions with more questions.

My message is global, but it’s global by way of the intensely person.

It’s small and scary and delightful and feels a thousand lotus petals opening and closing – breathing – timeless.

So this book I need to write, it actually isn’t about me. I need to tell about my experiences but not because I’m particularly interesting. It’s more like I came here, into this body, on to this earth, with a scroll wound tightly in my chest and as I’ve walked through the past 50 years, the scroll has unfurled itself.

What was written in invisible ink was decoded, slowly, over time.

I need to tell you what’s written on the scroll.

And here’s how I’m going to do it…

I’m going to write this book on Patreon.

Each month, I’m going to give you chapter. And I’m going to open up the opportunity for you to explore with me - to engage with the book in a real and interactive way.

Because it’s not just my story, it’s ours.

Beginning in October, I’m going to offer three tiers of participation:

You can choose level one and receive the monthly writing.

You can choose level two and receive the monthly writing plus a downloadable art print.

You can choose level three and receive the monthly writing, the art print, plus access to videos where I answer your questions, take your suggestions, and we discuss that month’s content.

I don’t know how long it will take me to complete this project, but if you choose to stay on board with me throughout this process, you’ll eventually receive the completed manuscript as a PDF.

If you’re interested in walking with me as I finally write this book and being a part of its creation, I’m grateful and warmly invite you to join me here.

P.S. I’m also going to offer a bonus tier for those of you who have been supporters of my intuitive work. I love you so much and the work we’ve done together over the past few years has been validating and beautiful. I’m no longer offering intuitive readings here and I suppose I thought I might pull back from that work entirely, but as I started to rebuild my Patreon, I realized I wanted to maintain a bonus tier for you. If you find intuitive work of value, check out the bonus tier for monthly readings.